I am sorry that I like blue cheese so much and now you are slowly getting tighter. In fact, not just blue cheese but all food. (That's another open letter) That goes to all my underwear actually, I am sorry that some of you are slowly getting tighter, but I don't want to start buying you in a bigger size. It is winter here now, and I am hibernating, so please stop judging me. In the summer we can work together again. Deal?Dear men's satin boxer shorts I purchased for $5 on a whim- I love you. You are so comfortable and if I had it my way, I would only wear you and a tank top in the summer, but apparently proper clothing is required in public. I will buy more pairs of you in the summer so I can wear you around the house. Thank you for not pressuring or judging me. Dear sexy red underwear- I am saving you for a special occasion, you and I both know what that is. I will throw you at a celebrity one day, I just can't decide between Stephen Colbert or Christoph Waltz. But one day I will. " Surely the revolution can pop for a couple of rings." I insist. I am your husband." If you say so." I start to slip the ring over my finger."No! I must do it!"I stop. "What's the big deal? It's just a cover anyway. Who's to know?" Please, Alexia, allow me?"He looks so earnest. What's the harm? I hand him the ring then extendmy right hand, fingers spread. He gently takes my hand and slowlyslides the ring onto my right index finger, easing past the knuckleuntil it reaches the base of the finger.I've never been a fan of rings. I had a class ring when in high schoolbut it was a pain in the ass, always banging on things. I was almosthappy when an old girlfriend claimed she "lost" it and couldn't returnit when we broke up. She probably pawned the darn thing. Good riddanceto both of 'em.This ring felt different. It was sized right for one thing, notgripping the finger tightly but also not spinning around loosely.Wonder how he managed that? It was comfortable, not pressing againstany of the.
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